The Package – Plenty of Penis Time

Rating (2 out of 5)

Yes, the headline is right, the plot of this movie is some young kids go to the woods to camp and party.  During the night, one of the kids cuts off his penis.  First 1/2 of movie is getting him to a hospital, and the 2nd 1/2 is getting his penis from campsite that is to the hospital, because they gave the EMT’s the wrong cooler..

the package main (Custom)

I have to admit, I just turned this on and didn’t know the plot or what to expect.  I was a little caught off guard by the flying penis.  If we gave 1/2 scores, I would give this a 2 1/2 stars.

What I Liked:  I don’t think there was a penis joke left untouched in this one.  As stupid as it was, we all laughed a number of times at the silly jokes.  I think the snake bitting the penis was definitely something we didn’t expect.

There were a number of sections that I enjoyed; the doctor that was going to replace the penis with a butt graft and her discussions with young man.  The discussion the kids had with the little boy to borrow his dad’s boat was another part that was funny.  The back burn was a good running joke as well.  There were segments that were enjoyable.


What I Didn’t Like:  It follows the same script as most raunchy comedies, where something silly is layered on something sillier.  Don’t know if we needed to punch the nose of the doctor in the hospital as an example.

I didn’t need to see the penis is that much detail at times.  Seeing it from a distance in the bag was enough.  The scene where it is cleaned was probably unnecessary.

Finally, there is no way the penis would have lasted that long, in the conditions they kept it. Snake bite, dirt, tossed around, sewn on, then removed, etc.  Everything happened to that penis, it would have been to degraded to use.

In short this was a raunchy teenage comedy, that had a few laughs, but is not a master piece of the cinema.