Star Wars: The Last Jedi – You May LOL

Rating (2 out of 5)

Before I rate this movie it is important to set in context.  I was around when the first Star Wars movie hit the movie theaters.  I grew up with Star Wars and enjoy the whole Star Wars lore.  I think Phantom Menace, Clone Wars and Revenge of the Sith were definitely the weaker films of all the movies.  I really enjoyed the Force Awakens and had hopes that this movie would continue that level of quality.

I am not a mega fan of Star Wars; I don’t own the toys, I don’t read the books etc..  I do play the Battlefront games.

This is important so you know when I give this a 2 it is because as a movie, this is horrible.  Its fine for Star Wars series and you just make a new movie or cartoon series that makes up for any shortcomings.  If you want to see contrasting reviews of this movie, please see our friends over at Jordan and Eddie.

Why the poor rating:

Let’s take the very first scene, as Poe is flying his X-Wing (no one else in support) at the First Order, and pretends not to hear General Hux.  I think that is a joke from a Sit-Com, when using a telephone.  It was stupid.  I found that the humor that was added was forced, and therefore took away from the films flow.

Because General Hux is dumbfounded during the call, he doesn’t call in the squadron of fighters.   This then allows Poe to blow up all the canons… really the First Order doesn’t have a protocol for a fighter approaching to launch a set number of tie fighters.

Same sequence, then BB-8 is trying to fix Poe’s X-wing, and has his joints in all types of circuits and then mashes his whole head to into the electronics to get the guns to work.  I do that with my car, nothing would work, but in an X-Wing, that makes everything better.  This is another example of forced humor.

Again, in the same sequence the bombers come in.  The pilot and bomber are dead, and the gunner is left to get to the drop button.   Seriously, they don’t have multiple backup buttons, just the one.  They have only been fighting this war for 50 years, and they don’t have everyone with an iPhone and launch button?  Okay, I could let that go.

So she falls down the ladder, and the remote is at the top of the ladder (remember she is in space), she kicks the ladder until the controller drops (Remember we are in space, oh yeah) falls toward her, but it falls past her and she grabs it at the last moment and presses the button… She dies but destroys the ship, what a hero.

Now okay, you might say the space ship created the gravity.  Ok I am down with that.  But then the maneveurs that Poe makes, wouldn’t be possible.

Also, I have seen this scene before in classic WWII movies.  Aagh give me a break

So the bombers are uber slow… Why are they that slow?  Then they drop bombs.  I am in outer space and I am dropping magnetized bombs, couldn’t we use different craft to do the delivery.  Couldn’t we have used a guided rocket than then launches a spray of bombs.  They showed more creativity with the robots in the first scenes of Revenge of the Sith.

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That was just the opening sequence.

I went to see this in the movie theater with my family, and Princess Leia was blown into space and pulled herself back into the space ship with her force power, my family laughed out loud.  We were perfectly happy having her die.  To me it would have made the movie better than seeing her use the force for the first time in this way was just stupid.

The Last Jedi had so many flaws, it is hard to put them all down.  The worst part for me was the story telling.  The Force Awakens was focused and concise, as Finn and Rey made their way across the universe.  You cheered for them and wanted to see them succeed together.  Last Jedi suffers from having 3 stories going at once, and not focusing.  Finn is off on gamble planet, Rey is off learning from Luke, and then we have the whole thing with Poe and the armada.

I liked the story of Rey and learning from Luke.  If they had focused on this they could have gone into this more than they did.  A training sequence is always great.  Mix the training with the flashes to Kylo Ren, it would have been great, but we were all following so much, I just didn’t care.

Gamble planet:  This was only to get everyone on the First Order ship.  This was the worst section of the movie.  I moaned the whole way through this.  This is going to sound mean, but if Rose had died on gamble planet or before this would have been a better movie.  I was just tired of her righteousness oh, right away.

Finn:  How do you turn a character that was cool in one move into an idiot for the next movie?  His devotion to his friend Rey would have been a better arc.  The battle between him and Captain Phasma was very anti-climatic and I was so disappointed.  I spent what felt like hours on gamble planet but only 5 on the big battle.  Wasted build up of a character.

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There are so many other complaints that I will just have to table them for brevity.

Was there anything I liked:

I did like exploring the start of the Jedi and the training with Luke.  They mystique of the Jedi and the force is always interesting.  We the viewers are drawn to those who have a hidden talent and watching it develop.

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As I mentioned before, I do enjoy the Rey and Kylo-Ren relationship.  Frenemies.  There little Jedi mind discussions were entertaining.

The battle with Rey and Ren against Snoke is just what the doctor ordered for this movie, and why this is not a 1 star.

There were parts of the final battle scene that I enjoyed.  Although based on playing Star Wars Battlefront II, this scene was produced so we could play it on the PS4 or whatever console you may have.

I know many of you Star Wars fans out there like this movie.  But as a movie (not a Star Wars movie) this was a fairly weak offering.

 

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