Mandy – Dude, This Blows

Rating (1 out of 5)

There must be some collusion going on in ratings, because there is no way a seasoned moviegoer would rate this movie highly.  There are so many problems with this movie, that even if you were being sympathetic to an director or actor/actress, the maximum you could rate this would be a 3 out of 5.  The only other way, is you had to be on the highest high, on the most quality drugs ever in the history of the world… neh… the universe.

This is a stinker.

Plot:  A couple live in a house in the woods, Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough).  A strange group comes to town one day, and the leader Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache) wants Mandy, and has her kidnapped.  Because she won’t submit to him, he has her killed in front of Red.  Red recovers from the attack then takes his revenge.

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What I Liked: The look on Nicolas Cage’s face at the end of the movie.  For me that was the best part, the picture is below.

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What I Didnt’ Like:   This movie is slow.  It takes us almost 1/2 way through the movie before we get Nicolas Cage into beast mode.  Time is precious in movies and feel like it was wasted in getting to the action.

The director overcompensated for his lack talent in writing a script with a heavy use of colors and lighting and a little animation.  So much so that it was too much.  Directors should first focus on storytelling, then artistry to enhance the story.

The movie as a whole was not well assembled.  Other scenes were just odd and as whole it didn’t all fit well together.  For example, after his wife dies, he goes to the bathroom.  Well apparently, when you are in the woods, this is where you store your vodka.  After Mandy’s death, Red goes into the bathroom, Red chugs vodka and screams for 5 to 10 minutes.   After this rant, he just then falls asleep in bed, and he wakes up the next day.  Everything seems to be fine even though he was stabbed.  You never saw him manage or deal with the wound.

But there are tons of other weird little bits.  All of a sudden out of nowhere Red is able to craft an axe.  The axe is really cool.  Somehow, Red has all the material on hand, and is able to craft it all.  Not only that but somehow in one night.  He is a lumber jack, then for a hobby he makes large blades of killing.  Just didn’t flow.

Just in case that didn’t make sense.  This quiet tender loving lumberjack, all of a sudden is a stone cold killer.  He can wield his massive blade like an expert, he is able to snap peoples necks, and he is a master with the chainsaw.  Oh, and a master shot with a cross bow.

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There were bits where we were led to believe there was mysticism at work.  For example, there was a special horn to call the riders from hell (that is my name) and a special knife that Jeremiah pulls out to stab Red.  You thought these would have some significance, since they received the all so special green strobe light effect.  But no, just horn and just a knife.

Finally, he was able to best all the people he battled with relative ease.  Even the riders from hell didn’t have very good battles with Red.  The lack of quality action scenes was another let down.

The musical score was just a constant strumming of a heavy metal guitar.  This was tiring after a while, and didn’t really help.

Conclusion:  I was so excited to watch this movie based on the Metascore and Rotten Tomatoes scores, but was so disappointed to watch this movie.  Poor storytelling, mediocre action scenes, and general boredom, make for another bad Nick Cage film.

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